Thinking Of You
by hellovivy
Summary: Kendall is with Jo but can't stop thinking about his ex.


**Thinking Of You.**

Today is our one year anniversary. We planned to go out to dinner, something simple, nothing fancy. James relaxed on our orange couch, while I sat in the kitchen. He seemed to really be into the TV show, he didn't notice me. Carlos and Logan walked into the apartment, wet from swimming. Carlos joined James on the couch, while Logan stayed behind.

"So where are you guys going tonight?"

"We're suppose go out to dinner, but I don't know anymore. It's getting late."

Logan was just about to respond, when there was a knock on the door. I opened it and found Jo twirling in her flowery dress.

"Hey," she smiled. "Ready to go?"

I looked back and saw James still concentrated on the TV.

"Yeah, let's go."

She took my hand and we made our way down to the Palm Woods parking garage.

"I'm really excited, Kendall," she said, hugging my waist.

_Suddenly, it was James who was holding me. His arms were wrapped around me. He was telling me how excited he was for the evening. I was laughing as he chasing me around the parking garage. When he caught up with me, he pressed me against the car and kissed me. He made me feel like I was floating on a cloud. We were the perfect height together. Carlos used to call us 'The Tallies'. _

"Kendall?"

I shook the memory away.

"Sorry."

Our dinner was nice. I paid attention to Jo's stories and I was very into our conversations on giraffe abortions and how when were married we're going to adopt baby whales instead of having kids. James never left my mind. He'd want to have kids, our own little kids. Jo was a great friend, but that's as far as it's going to get. I didn't see her as more. I only agreed to be with her because I was sad and it was right after-

"KENDALL!" Jo shrieked.

I felt her pulled me back on to the sidewalk, while a car drove by honking.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? THAT CAR COULD'VE HIT YOU!"

I caught my breath.

"I'm sorry! I-I wasn't paying attention!"

"Obviously! Don't scare me like that!"

"Jo," I sighed. "I'm sorry."

She placed her hands on her hips and took a deep breath.

"Let's just get back to the car."

"Okay," I agreed.

We drove around for a while, no destination. I watched as she admired the beautiful city. Jo was also very beautiful, but she's not the beauty my hearts desires. You can't compare to what I had. I had perfection.

"I had a great time today," Jo smiled. "except for when you almost got hit by that car."

"Yeah, that was bad, sorry again."

We stood outside her apartment door. She dug in her purse and pulled out a small box. She held in her hands. She opened it slowly. In the dim light of the halls, the small silver ring showed its shine. I felt the sweat start to form on my forehead.

"This is for you. Happy Anniversary, Kendall."

I didn't speak. I let the memory take over.

_James and I sat on the bench at Palm Woods Park. It was evening, the sun had just set. We had just got back from our dinner. It was our one year anniversary. I remember how nervous I was and how sweaty my hands were. He had his arm around me, while I rested my head on his chest. _

_ "James?" _

_I sat up._

_ "Hm?"_

_ "Today was very special to me."_

_ "Me too," he smiled._

_ "Um, I have something for you."_

_I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small black box. _

_ "Kendall," he whispered. _

_ "Umm," I didn't know exactly what to say. "This is for you."_

_I opened the small box slowly and his reaction was one I'll never forget._

_ "I love you, James and I want you to be mine, forever."_

_I slipped the ring onto his finger. _

_Before I could say anything more, he pulled me into a deep kiss. A kiss that was absolutely magical. _

_ "I love you to, Kendall, forever and ever."_

I shook my head again.

"Do you like it?" Jo asked.

"Yeah," I nodded.

She pulled me close and kissed me. My head began to spin. Every memory I had of James replayed over and over like in the movies. Suddenly it was James kissing me. I close my eyes and I kissed back with every force I had. James, my James, was with me again. I don't know how long the kiss had been going on, but I knew I didn't want it to end. He pulled away slowly, my eyes remained shut.

"James," I whispered, into his lips.

"Okay, okay, okay. Tell me again why exactly Jo decided to break up with you on your one year anniversary."

It was Logan, my best friend. The one who gives great advice and the one that knows everything about me.

"I messed up," I admitted.

He sat next to me.

"What happened?"

I looked away and began playing with my thumbs.

"Kendall, we've been best friends since first grade. You can tell me anything."

"We kissed, but in my mind I wasn't kissing her. Then afterwards," I took a deep breath. "I…,"

"It's okay, just tell me."

"I called her James. I didn't mean to! I just kind of slipped out!"

Logan didn't say anything. He didn't have to. I just needed his friendly hugs.

"I'm here for you," he whispered.

Carlos and James walked into the apartment, looking like they came from the pool.

"I think you should talk to him," Logan whispered.

"What?"

"Yeah! Go! Tell him how you feel."

"But-,"

"Carlos!" Logan shouted. "Will you accompany me down to the lobby?"

"For what?"

"I heard Bitters got a new bird, it talks!"

That definitely got the small ones attention. They left the room and James went into the kitchen. I was nervous. James and I agreed to be friends and we were okay, but I haven't been so nervous to talk to him in a very long time.

"James?"

"What's up?"

He froze in place, eyes wide as they could go.

"What?" I asked.

"You're bleeding!"

"Huh?"

"Your cheek."

He sat me down on the couch and ran back to the kitchen. He came back with a wet towel. He dabbed the cut on my face. Then I remembered.

"Jo hit me last night," I whispered.

He put the towel down.

"But why?"

My heart began to race. He had to know and the time was now.

"What's wrong, Kendall?"

"I…I never loved her."

He didn't say anything.

"I have always and always will love you, James."

He stood up and walked back into the kitchen. I followed. I found him leaning over the sink, looking pale.

"Are you going to say anything?" I asked.

"How can you still love me?"

He faced me, his eyes were watery.

"After what I did to you…" his voice was scratchy.

"James, I forgave you a long time ago."

"But, I haven't forgiven myself. I hurt you."

_The memory will always be fresh in my mind like it was yesterday. It was the day after our anniversary. I was walked into the apartment, to find James and Camille kissing. I hurt me a lot, but after a while I'd forgiven him. He never seemed to forgive himself. He let me go so he could figure out what he really wanted. I was always willing to take him back, but he was never ready. _

"James, I want to leave that behind us. I just want to be with you again!"

"…I don't know…"

"I'm going crazy here! You have to understand, whenever I was with Jo, I was always thinking of you, YOU!"

I cupped his face in my hands and wiped his tears with my thumbs.

He hugged me.

He was so warm.

"How can I fix it?" He asked.

I pulled away.

"Do you still love me?"

I held my breath.

He unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt, revealing his beautiful chest. He reached inside and pulled out a silver chain. He held out the charm that was connected to it. It was a ring, the ring from that night.

He walked closer and caressed my cheek.

"I have always and always will love you, Kendall," he smiled.

I froze in place. All I could do was let the tears go.

"Just be with me," I whispered.

He nodded and pressed our lips together. We locked instantly, just like before. I pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. He let out a small moan as I allowed him to take over me. He tasted so sweet, just like I remembered. He was mine, once again, and this time for good.


End file.
